Thinking About Entering the Beautiful Corpse Contest

Touting my remains—

I’m too bashful to do that.
It goes against my grain.

Making daisy chains
is what I’m all about,
mostly. Touting my remains

ain’t something that distains
the white radiance of eternity for me, Bob!
It goes against my grain

to wrangle, wring and drain
all the tears out of a sob—
the grief remains

and gives me Oh, such pain!
Nah, I’ll keep the dead cat under my hat
I don’t touch the grain

these days, confine myself to wine.
Hell, it’s been years since I’ve touched even that.
Anyhow, I hope they’ll bury my remains,
not pickle them—Waa!—in brine!