Ready for Buttigieg

Never really felt “ready for Hillary.”

God, that slogan was smug!
But fuck yes, I’m ready for Buttigieg!

He’s the mayor of a fair city—
South Bend, Indiana, where a hug is a hug—
but "Buttigieg" doesn’t even rhyme with "Hillary,"

but rather with "rainbow bridge,"
or "Stonewall Ridge." Pete’s mug’s
so cute! I’m ready for Buttigieg!

And what do you allege
Buttigieg will do about the Mexican immig-
ration situation different from what Hillary

or Trump would do? Well, he’ll start with a heart-fledged
attack on our cynical tendency to not give a plugged
crap who runs. That’s why we like Buttigieg!

And there isn’t any evil dirt they can drudge
up and smudge on Buttigieg. He’s snug as a bug
in a rug, I’ll say. Always lukewarm on Hillary,
I’m hot for Buttigieg!