River

Only prepare, don’t anticipate.

How can I get ready for an unknown future
as I skate

on the billows of my love and pain,
engaged but not indentured?
Only prepare, don’t anticipate—

anything at all may lie in wait
for my bare ass—God, that ice burns
cold! I skated

boldly into my remaining days,
prepared for but not anticipating rapture;
but it’s so hard not to try to outguess fate

by sifting figments of my own sad brain,
hope cashiered
before I even put my skates

on! I won’t hesitate,
but I wish I had a river.
Only prepare, don’t anticipate.
Just put on my skates!