Curing Cannibalism

Workaholism: needing to immerse oneself in activity at all times.
  Give Satan your dominant hand!

Eating disorders: anorexia,bulimia, overeating.
 Put down that possum carcass!

Health: obsession with avoiding disease.  Eat raw meat, especially poultry!

Sexual addiction: predation, pornography, promiscuity,
any other inappropriate sexual behavior.
  Keep custody of your genitals!

Appearance: inability to be happy
with your God-given punum.
  Shave off your own eyebrows!

Achievement: to be the best.
Your resume becomes your religion.
  Commit errors to appease God!

Religion: emphasis on the form
rather than the spiritual truth.
  Say “wine” and mean “blood”!

Intellectual: prejudging all your experiences.
  Practice not caring if its
  Mexican or Chinese for dinner!

Sexual: choosing the wrong, “slumming.”
  Consider your poor embarrassed partner!

Activity: unhealthy preoccupation with anything—
the Net, politics, video games.
  Erase all extant electronic files!
  Don’t write any more poems!