The Biggest Billy Goat Gruff

Noli me tangere, for Caesar's I am

Their teasing doesn’t bother me much.
Some people are just assholes.
Why should I let myself be touched?

I see their touch-
ing smiles everywhere I go. They’re trolls!
But their hypocrisy do’n’t hurt me much.

I hit a homerun in the clutch,
defended my goals.—
Why should I let myself be touched

when all they want to do is smutch
their tarry souls on mine, control
my feelings? But they don't annoy me much!

—Trip, trap, trip, trap! said the bridge.
—Who’s that tripping on my bridge? said the troll?
—Why should I let myself be touched?

said the biggest Billy Goat Gruff. A ledge
appeared, and the goat climbed out of the hole,
after putting the troll out of commission, much!
Why should a billy goat let themselves be touched?