Villanelle: Bupkis mit Kaduchas

I’m awake, and I'm feeling all lively and horny!
I look at my phone, turn the radio on.
Can’t make up my mind to do nothing this morning!

Some days I wake up all sad and forlorn-y.—
Those mornings, I might think the world is a con.
But today I-um just feelin' eager and horny!

I once had a girl, but our love died aborn-y,
a love that I never could travel beyond,
so I just can’t decide to do nothing this morning.

“Your hijinks are corny, not to say porn-y!”
the smart people say when I’ve got my rag on
and I’m feeling especially lively and horny.

I swept all the floors, then I left without warn-y:
Don’t save a kiss for me, honey, I’m gone!
I can’t just decide to do nothing this morning!

If I just had a boat, I would ride on my pony
And my bo-ut would carry us hither and yon.
I feel inexhaustibly lively and horny,
but I can't set my mind to bald bupkis this morning!